Tuesday, October 23, 2012



A term referring to people dressed in well-tailored suits or tuxedos, such as businessmen, capitalists, or government agents.
Surely, at some point in your life you've encountered one such type. What? You haven't? Well, that's a shame, seeing as you've missed the chance to be 'hosted' by a largely arrogant and self absorbed man. It sounds like good riddance, but these guys are more amusing than you'll want to admit. Sure, most of the time he'll be bragging about what he can do, and what he might do for you if he's in a good mood (read: if he's paid well enough). Then he'll talk about his status as the alpha wolf in a city of mere dogs. And how his skill and style are unparalleled, and how if he's on your side, you'll never have to worry about anything. Eh! These guys can brag!

Spend enough time with a suit, and you'll start seeing the world through their lens. Then you'll start behaving like them. But that's if you can set aside your moral dilemmas. These guys are about efficiency. Getting the job done, no matter what happens, or to whom it happens. And leave the 'boohoo'ing to someone else. Life is short. Win or lose, you move on.

Well, if you ever wanted a representation of success, these suits sure look like it. Expensive clothes, cars, swanky apartments, the whole nine. I mean, who gives a millionaire a car as an impromptu gift? Just because he feels like it? And then he brushes it off like it's nothing. Well, it's 'nothing' really, just a show of good faith between them. 

Now, tying a suit down in a relationship is akin to skinning a rhinoceros with a toothpick. It's like they are averse to serving only one master. Sure, they can be loyal to you, but they shall not serve you. To them, such mergers are good when they are profitable, but will be cast out as soon as they are no longer useful. This is the sort of man to whom a woman will never successfully tell 'we need to talk' with the intended results. In fact, you don't even get the luxury. They can tell when the heat's coming and just snuff out that little flame. 

Once in a while you see a glint of humanity in them, the kindness that you know resides in everyone. Sometimes, they step out of their comfy bubbles and do some things like ordinary people. But those are extremely rare occurrences. My advice? They are just about as shallow as they look. There is no bright side, good side, soft side, or other side for you to see. If you don't see it, that's because they won't let you see it. And coaxing them will only push them further away from you. Who are you to push the alpha wolf around?

Still want to hang out with a suit? Well, find the nearest one, and have a blast, because these guys sure know how to spoil their friends!