Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Curious Derision..

I don't quite understand the logic of this whole thing. Why the charade? I met a lady I once...er..anyway, I met this lady and, for all pretences, decided to unearth what she had been up to lately. She smiled curteously and claimed nothing much was happening.
I snickered. She countered by asking me why i had chucked her. That, right there, is where my problem is.

I mean, why wonder? Couldn't you have just called, or texted? She had to wait till she finds me (unexpectedly, of course) to put the blame of silence on me? We have
each other's contacts. It's not like when I buy airtime for 2k, I'm given 6k! We both share airtime honours. What thou loadeth, that ye shall receive, mais non? And why do they go for that one first? There must be a shortage of opening lines these days. Even someone you barely know will remark on how lost you are, or how you've chucked them.

Of course it varies depending on who says it. I was in a video library once, and the lovely lady there thought I looked familiar. I shrugged. She couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me where she'd seen me. I got my flicks and bolted. I was there again on an excursion some weeks later, find her there again, and she does the inevitable. "Hi, as you're lost." I almost counter with my personal favourite, "Really? Am I in the wrong place?" I fight off the temptation like a seasoned pugilist. How I wish that scenario had played out differently.

Perhaps I'd walk in, then she'd look up, into my gleaming eyes, and step forth into my waiting embrace. Then I'd tell her how I was in the area and decided to drop by 'to see if there are any new movies.' It's partly true. At least that's what could have been.
Well, since she notices that I've been lost, I think I should take her seriously...and find another library!

I wonder if my memory's failing, or I acquired celebrity status. I tend to meet a lot of people who know me, but i know zilch about them. And most of them are pretty ladies. You know, they smile and wave, flick their hair back, and all that girly stuff. One day, I will surely capitalize on the opportunity. We'll have a wholesome chat, laugh, grin, and then maybe I'll remember their names. Curious and curiouser.

I'm starting to collect possible responses to the phrases 'as you're lost' and 'some chucking' and so far this is what I've come up with. Feel free to add:

1. Perhaps there's a good reason, and I intend to keep it that way.
2. Waah! You're the one who's guilty!
3. Didn't you get my message?
4. I called, but you're line was busy. (Works every time!)
5. Anti you know, credit crunch.
6. Me?! I can never chuck you. I swear. (For the paranoid.)
7. (Silence, followed by..) Hmm.
8. Hmm..munange.. (Just that, then quickly change topic.)
9. Same to you.

Well, you can fill in the 10th, and send to me for marking.

Disclaimer: The views expressed are pure in nature. Any variations/impressions incured are entirely the responsibility of the reader.


  1. Oba I lost my phone. I lost all my contacts.

  2. That borders on cliche.. but well done. I actually know someone who tells me that whenever I meet her. It's funny coz I always see the same phone. I keep that to myself.

  3. By the way after saying you lost the contacts then you will ask.

    "Whats the number again?" (As you pull out the same old phone and start punching the number buttons)

    Yeah it is so cliche and its been used like crazy.

  4. I only used that line once. But it was true, I had lost my sim card, not the phone. Mysterious.

  5. btw the your lost thing tells me thaty 'out of sight is out of mind' thus no calls

  6. before i even burden you with a crazy comment, i love this theme...eyokya yokya

  7. i am taking notes like a muvverfrucker. let them start again with their ngga yo lositi nonsense.

    meanwhile, love what you've done with the place as the retired colonialist said to the dictator when he was trying to be sarcastic. kicks ass.

  8. Thank you all for your boisterous applauses.