Fille noire

The picture bears a stunning resemblance to one of my current relationships.

She was the most awe-inspiring creature I'd ever laid my eyes upon. She had the countenance of a goddess and the figure of your wildest dreams. She was free, free from the burden of guilt that many of us carry when we think we've done things. She was free, like a rabbit, in a field, filled with tulips. Room to run around expressing herself in tantalizing ways not fit for the faint-hearted.

The city was cruel, it was unforgiving, it was filled with both the tough and the deadly. The cowardly slithered into gaps and crevices where they wouldn't be trampled upon by the more aggressive denizens. Many of her kind lacked the courage to slug it out in the filth of this wretched society. Heck, most men didn't either. It was a classic dog-eat-dog world. You either ran with the pack, or got out of the way.

She wasn't the sort of girl that ran in a pack, and she wasn't cowardly either. She had a mind of her own, and did what she saw fit and justifiable in her own twisted sense of honor. At least she had a sense of honor. That's more than I can say for the lot of them. To her, it was all just a game, and she alone knew the rules. To tussle with her meant to be forever lost in a maze of excitement that brought no real joy, a web that meant you were just the day's dinner.

She had a smile. That smile could turn stone into dust. Even the most resistant hearts softened in the kind embrace of that smile. Time seemed to slow down when you were near her. Whatever she said sounded like a distant whisper, to which you could only agree. Her voice sounded like a maestro caressing a harp from within your ears, sweet and sensual. When she spoke, you felt all your self-restraint just melt away in the warmth of her soothing voice.

When our paths crossed, I was instantly aware of the strings pulling away my resolve. I thought I'd be the one to tame this tiger, but alas... Tigers are better left wild. A fact I hated to admit was that she was an accurate reflection of my own troubled psyche. We were similar in more ways than I cared to name. Still, there was no need for this...'attraction'. But she was oh-so-gorgeous! But I knew better to think that this thing could last. I knew that we were set on an inevitable collision course, and on that day of reckoning, "One of us must be found in the wreckage."

Suits...

suit
	A term referring to people dressed in well-tailored suits or tuxedos, such as businessmen, capitalists, or government agents.

Surely, at some point in your life you've encountered one such type. What? You haven't? Well, that's a shame, seeing as you've missed the chance to be 'hosted' by a largely arrogant and self absorbed man. It sounds like good riddance, but these guys are more amusing than you'll want to admit. Sure, most of the time he'll be bragging about what he can do, and what he might do for you if he's in a good mood (read: if he's paid well enough). Then he'll talk about his status as the alpha wolf in a city of mere dogs. And how his skill and style are unparalleled, and how if he's on your side, you'll never have to worry about anything. Eh! These guys can brag!

Spend enough time with a suit, and you'll start seeing the world through their lens. Then you'll start behaving like them. But that's if you can set aside your moral dilemmas. These guys are about efficiency. Getting the job done, no matter what happens, or to whom it happens. And leave the 'boohoo'ing to someone else. Life is short. Win or lose, you move on.

Well, if you ever wanted a representation of success, these suits sure look like it. Expensive clothes, cars, swanky apartments, the whole nine. I mean, who gives a millionaire a car as an impromptu gift? Just because he feels like it? And then he brushes it off like it's nothing. Well, it's 'nothing' really, just a show of good faith between them. 

Now, tying a suit down in a relationship is akin to skinning a rhinoceros with a toothpick. It's like they are averse to serving only one master. Sure, they can be loyal to you, but they shall not serve you. To them, such mergers are good when they are profitable, but will be cast out as soon as they are no longer useful. This is the sort of man to whom a woman will never successfully tell 'we need to talk' with the intended results. In fact, you don't even get the luxury. They can tell when the heat's coming and just snuff out that little flame. 

Once in a while you see a glint of humanity in them, the kindness that you know resides in everyone. Sometimes, they step out of their comfy bubbles and do some things like ordinary people. But those are extremely rare occurrences. My advice? They are just about as shallow as they look. There is no bright side, good side, soft side, or other side for you to see. If you don't see it, that's because they won't let you see it. And coaxing them will only push them further away from you. Who are you to push the alpha wolf around?

Still want to hang out with a suit? Well, find the nearest one, and have a blast, because these guys sure know how to spoil their friends! 

The Missing Link... Part One

Boy, does a soda run out really quickly when you're waiting for someone! I should have ordered for something stronger, considering what this 'appointment' is all about. I should have known when she set up this appointment that things would get quite serious. I took the chance and said I had something to tell her as well. This was hastily put together, but at least I got to pick the venue.

And then she arrives. I can detect a scent of lemon and strawberry, but that may just be the icecream she's eating. There's also a hint of urgency with just a touch of foreboding. And strawberry. I think I'm smitten all over again.

I finally remember to get up, smile and pull out the seat for her. We hug first, but it's one of those hugs you wish you hadn't (hugged?). We almost just fumbled about it. Anyway, she takes her seat, and I take mine. A little while later (about an hour, she's talkative!) we get down to business... I shoot first.

"It's always nice to hang out together like this. You're really good company."

"Oh? Wow! Coming from you, that means a lot. Glad you feel that way."

"Aww shucks! Er...so, I was wondering...You're a very interesting lady. You're sweet, thoughtful, smart, gentle. I like a lot about you. In fact, I like you and... would you be my girlfriend?"

"Well, that's sweet! I like you too, but not that way! I think of you more like a brother. Why would you spoil our good friendship? Can't we just be frien...."

"Ah, no! No no no no no!"

"What? Why are you overreacting?"

"I'm not. But just don't play that card, dear."

"What card?"

"The 'let's just be friends' card. I know, you have the 'best' of intentions, but what I hear is 'just continue being nice to me and in return, I'll offer you nothing but a smile!'"

"But I value your friendship and ....."

"Oh, really?"

"Duh! Why not? I mean, you're the nicest guy I know."

"And she says it! Have you never read that 'nice guys finish last'? And you call yourself my friend. Yes, you are, but we've crossed the Rubicon."

"The what now?"

"There's no going back. I have crossed the line. I'd rather die, theoretically, than live without you. If I can't date you, I can't stay by your side while some other guy does something I didn't."

"But you've done enough!"

"Clearly, I haven't."

"Ok, now you're just being childish."

"Perhaps, but I know when to move on when my dreams have been crushed. But let me ask you this. Do you girls think that the average guy is so gifted in foresight that he can attempt to have a relationship with you, which you will kindly reject, and fall back to (best)friendship, which was his original plan all along?"

to be continued...

I met a girl... (Aptly named, huh?)

Every once in a while, someone gets to the point where they have to rearrange their priorities. I reached such a point last week. It all began when I met this girl...
Hahaha, no! It's not one of those (awful) 'boy-meets-girl' kind of story. Yeah, you might argue that it is. I'll let you argue until I feel comfortable enough to join in.

As I was saying, I met this girl. this girl believes I can do things I'm not sure were even possible. She is convinced that I am awesome, nonetheless, and as such have a great future ahead of me, should we enter some sort of partnership. Aha! I knew it! There had to be some catch. Now i wonder what's in it for me. This sort of situation looks familiar. Case in point: LXG - the part where Allan Quartermaine is being recruited. They tell him his country needs him and they can't possibly win without him, blah blah blah. Strangely, that card usually works! Is it something about telling a guy he's much needed and how the world would be so lost without him?

This girl wants me to teach her a skill I haven't perfected. I know lots of tricks using various software, but I hardly think of myself capable of teaching! I can explain a few pointers here and there, but honestly, I can't teach! I do not have all the patience, and word has been said that I'm not good at explaining things either. So, I'm stuck with a hopeful student and no game plan. Hmm.. Perhaps I should draw up one.

Step one: Keep the relationship professional. Do not, under any circumstances, accept to be paid in kind.

Step two: When you explain, look at her eyes, not her chest area.

Step three: Speak in monotone. It will go a great distance in maintaining composure, and occasionally provide comic relief when student looks dissatisfied with your teaching method.

Step four:  Make sure you go for drinks after she's learnt some things. You know, to make sure she's alright.

Step five: If any of the above steps fails, improvise!

I hope I'm sufficiently armed to deal with any surprises that may arise. Oh, and she'd better pay cash!

UBHH Recap: New Look

For those that are not sure, Uganda Bloggers' Happy Hour (UBHH) is a bloggers meet that happens every last Thursday of the month. Yesterday was the last Thursday of Feb, so it went down at Mateo's. I arrived at the scene to find Darlyne, Mildred and Dilman already settled in. Not bad, I thought. I hadn't seen these faces in a while. After our hearty hellos (these folks sure know how to welcome kindred spirits), I got to take a seat and take in my surroundings. Mateo's now has steel barristers. Before, they were not made of steel. Looked a lot like rope. They also have straw chairs and tables! The place looks funkier. They still don't let us take photos though, apparently. They still have those beefy guards at the entrance.

Well, we were soon joined by Caesar. I'd never seen him before but he seemed to be a crowd favourite. I got to learn why moments later. By this time I had a smile on my face. The second BHH I've attended without a ULK rep? What happened? Solomon King joined us later. He exchanged one of those greetings with Dilman. You know, those ones of 'So you're the one! Great to finally meet you' type of greeting. We had settled down by then. As you'd expect in meetings such as these, we discussed our work. Then we went on about trends, CGI, photography, fashion, series and movies, and possible collabos. No, not the musical ones. Not the hostile takeovers either; just collabos. Perhaps Mildred and Dilman are going to sing a song together. People have all sorts of passions, I tell you. When a couple of guys started talking about cameras, I was amazed. It’s always refreshing to hear someone talk about something they know well. They almost convinced me to take up photography myself. I’m still thinking about it.

These blogger meetings keep getting better. I got a chance to get a great movie that I’d heard about just recently. I’m not sure what the others got, but they can speak for themselves. As for those that missed, we are a forgiving bunch. In fact, we are so forgiving that there is no beef for anyone. That’s as a group. Personally, I’m putting a bounty on Jhny23’s head.

Generic Recap of an otherwise awesome BHH...

Last Thursday, as is the norm every month, the bloggers were at it again. Well, some of them. Glad the skies didn't fall on us this time. We would have been furious.

The first time I attended BHH was the last time I was there first. It's tough being there first these days. When I got there, the crew had already settled in and a fair round of 'oohs' and 'aahs' had passed. Those were in relation to Tipsyalco(etc)'s new look. I too expressed my sentiments, and was heartily rewarded. Yes, she looked fabulous, but threats of her leaving early were relentless. Almost took the fun out of it. She's forgiven, for she stuck around for a while. Or was I the one that came very late?

Found Nev there, having a blast chatting about graphics and all. Rev seemed to be paying close attention, but gave up when he could no longer resist showing us his baby's pictures. The baby looks nice (don't they all?), but his daddy claimed to have had a hard time getting him to pose for the pics.

Solomon King and Rhino seemed like an unlikely duo. Seemed. But they got by splendidly. Sibo and Ivan shared a joke about their hairstyles. Seeing as I had a similar one, I found it mildly amusing.

We were visited by a sight, nay, two sights, once familiar but now redeemed by their presence at such an opportune time. Boy, was Walkonby a sight for sore eyes! The lady was seriously outnumbered. And after a long absence, Basiks turned up! He got a round of applause and hi-fives. Yep, it was good to see some long lost faces. Walkonby reminded us about the Mega-BHH we had talked about. She offered her place (for/as the venue). There was some debate about who should be in charge of the music. When Rev suggested he do it, there was a chorus of disagreement. It seems we're yet to catch onto Malian music. Same went for Nev. The idea of playing Hillsong music all night long was disturbing the peace of some. Case settled. Ivan won. I think that was because he made no suggestion whatsoever as to what sort of music he'd play. Clever. I think he whispered something about having an artist (artiste?) sing live. I think. So, all ye bloggers be warned. Mega-BHH coming soon (rumoured to be in early Dec).

I must add that for a great part of it, it was only guys. This event drew a hearty laughter from Nev. No need to imagine in what direction the general conversation drifted. If you know these guys, you'd know.

The 'regulars' absent ought to be ashamed. Really ashamed. Or else they stand to lose the prestigious title of 'regular.' And that's a wrap!

Green Lantern's Light...

Yes, this is a review of the DC Comics movie 'Green Lantern' that I watched only last night.
For clear reasons, I avoided having to watch it in the cinema. I got a very clear (720p HD) copy. For those who don't know, it means this copy was so clear you'd see the sweat on a dog's nose!
Anyway, this is how it went down:

For starters, I began this movie at around 1am. I didn't dose off. A major plus.
The origin story is as cliche as they go, but the stunning visual effects did go a long way to cover that flaw. I think there was also a romantic side to it somewhere. Didn't surprise me, neither did it impress me. It seemed as though someone decided it would be nice to just fix it there. It didn't work.

As for the plot line... Ok, let me admit. It's tough to stretch this review.

Just as I was warming up to the movie, it ended! Just like that! It practically came to a screeching halt! That was an anticlimax to crown them all! In short, it had the potential to be a great movie, but it collapsed like a house of wet cards. The villain just wasn't 'villain enough'.

Maybe I just like the guy, but the presence of Mark Strong (Sinestro) helped the movie along. I think he has what it takes to give Hugo Weaving a run for the title of Mega-villain. (Mark Strong is the guy who played Lord Blackwood in Sherlock Holmes. He has that ominous voice, typical of the great movie villains.) He wasn't the villain in this one though. Sad indeed.

Well, apart from the awesome effects, there's not too many talking points really. Don't say you weren't warned.