Attempted failure

For a moment, I thought I was gazing at the sunset. So awesome, so tender. So gentle and soothing. A reminder of all that's good in this life. And then, suddenly, she stood up.

It was then that I realised the futility of my planned 'ambush.' Now, the golden rule in approaching a lady is to do it within 3 seconds. That way, you don't have time to change your mind, or hesitate. She was fifteen seconds out, So you can guess what happened.

Anyway, I tried to be as bold as i could, but her beauty was/is breathtaking. I thought my heart was in my throat and my tongue had retreated to my gut.

I think I gasped, "Hi." She flicked her hair to one side and said, "Did you say something?"

I: I didn't. I just gasped.
She: Why? Is there something wrong?

I: As a matter of fact, there is.
She: Well, what is it?

I: I think it's a little unfair for all the beauty in this building to be concentrated in one body.

She: (Chuckles)
I: Yes, you guessed it. Hers.
She: Whose?! (Sounding somewhat distraught)

I: You didn't think I was talking about you, did you?
She: Of course not. (Liar!)

I: Very well then, it's been real nice praising another woman before you. But, you look very pretty yourself too.

She: Is that consolation?
I: I hope so. You may not find it anywhere else.

She: 'Hysterical laughter' I see you're trying to be funny.
I: I doubt that. Looks like I succeeded!

And then we exchanged contacts (not lenses), just like that. I bet she went home bragging like a peacock. I now know that sarcasm wins, every time!