Brown Wednesday

This is becoming more and more difficult. I didn't feel like red is really a good color for mid-week, but it's all about daring from now on. It wasn't so bad to begin with.
Now, for people like me, life doesn't get any easier when demands on your intellect increase without much financial promise. Honestly, I hate pressure without some sort of reward. And it's not like I owe them anything. However, that wasn't one of those times. I actually owed them this time, but I still wasn't enjoying the way they were going about it. And I told them as much, at least in my mind. The only words that came out sounded like, 'Please, give me some more time. I swear! I'm almost done!'
They believed me, so problem solved. At least for now. I am indeed almost done, but I'm not very good at demanding for stuff, even when it's rightfully mine. I've 'hired' a tough-as-nails law practitioner to teach me those skills. Make no mistake, this guy is far from soft! And this guy just loves to talk!

Then, at the end of the day, I decided to relax and unwind at a nice cozy spot. And a number of other people decided to relax and unwind alongside me at said spot. I didn't mind. They turned out to be a lively bunch. There weren't many jokes, but I think that's because some people find it hard to be amusing when it's chilly. Some people. I was firing on all cylinders until I realized that it's equally hard for said people to laugh under those same conditions. I fell back to one-liners.

The waiter kept coming to ask me for my order. I'd become pretty tired of it, but just to get on his nerves, I asked him for a cup. Yes, just a cup. He brought the cup. Then I asked him what good an empty cup is, and told him to hurry along and bring me a spoon. Spoon arrived pretty quickly too. I looked at him in disbelief! What am I to do with an empty cup and a spoon? I thought this was a coffee shop. As such, I thought coffee was the default choice of drink. He let out a deep sigh. You know, those long ones which show that you've finally understood something. Yeah, one of those ones. He did! I'm telling you! I also couldn't believe it had taken him that long. But what matters is that he finally brought the stuff. I thanked him so heartily that he looked back at me curiously. I bet he was wondering if I was actually going to pay for the stuff. I wasn't(wink). Why else would I be thanking him like that?

It was a lovely evening to end such a nervy day. And the coffee helped too. Oh, I had nothing against the waiter. The coffee was paid for. I just thought I'd humour myself, since my...um...table-mates had resigned from any more nonsense. I can always find humour when I need it, even if it has to come from 'unsuspecting' denizens.

P.S: This story is mostly fictional. I do not make fun of, tease, mistreat, or generally underate people working in important establishments. I don't. Really, I don't! Ask Edgar...

UBHH: Abduction

Let me start this 'speech' as though I'm an MC. First of all, I'd like to thank all the ladies and gentlemen who managed to attend UBHH yesterday. It was nice to see some blog-faces once again. Both old and new, young and...well... old. I must say some regulars were missing in this picture but we somehow managed without them.

Yeah, due to popular demand, I got there a little late. I arrived with the world-famous Nevender. We were quickly forgiven. It does help to move with world-famous people sometimes. Then I was in for a shocker. Rev's a daddy! Yay! He and Detamble were showcasing their latest creation. I checked. Yep, Rory does look like his daddy and mommy. I would have asked questions if I had reason to suspect otherwise. Didn't talk much with Rory though. He was too busy basking in his mom's attention. Perhaps we'll chat next time. Rev was so happy (to see us or to celebrate his fatherhood) that he got us drinks! Thanks...

I wonder what BHH is complete without either Dee or the King. This one was complete, for they were both there. Then there was a white chick whose response to my 'hello' was to hand me a thingy. Now, I'm a fan of noble causes, but that was swift! I told her as much. I think she laughed. Anyway, I moved on and stood face to face with (according to my books) a legend. The awesome Angela Kintu. I told her that I'm a fan. She said something that sounded like she's read about me (or my blog). Hey! I was excited, so forgive the fuzzy details. At least she'd heard of me. I went away smiling.

Rhino was in force too, and seemed to be deeply engrossed in some activity with a friend, whose name I've forgotten. Come to think of it, parts of that night have inexplicably vanished from my memory. Well, there was Johnny 23 and Normzo, who were similarly engrossed, but I was forced to interrupt them as well. They forgave me, and continued after I was done interrupting.

There was a delightful lady who told me she's Lorac. I wondered. She told me it's just Carol spelled backwards. I grinned sheepishly. We got along quite well. There was also a friend of Carol's, sorry, forgot the name. I really need my memory back. This is unusual for me. He was very entertaining. And yes, another legend was present. Sleek himself! Who'd have guessed he'd also be among us? Shya! Of course I would have guessed!

We were later joined by Dorene ('artist' formerly known as The Antipop) and still later, by Ivan M, another legend. It was getting crazy.
Having missed about 6 BHH's, this one was a good one to come back to. Let's keep up the 'blogspirit.'

A guy in black suit and shades is handing me a folder about my 'debriefing' earlier today. Let me run through it.

Oh! Well, this is beyond disappointing. Today's 5th of August! I slept on Thursday night on 28th of July. Did I sleep for an entire week?! I read on. Yeah, apparently, my disappearance was reported by my (um, how do I not make this sound ridiculous?) 'friend' Amanda. Mbu I missed an appointment with her on Saturday. I never miss my appointments with Amanda! No wonder she knew something was up. The suits are still investigating, but they tell me to report as soon as I start recollecting the 'events of that lost week.' Yeah, I might need to know what else happened. And I'd also want to know how on earth I ended up with a van dyke!



I'm off to the barber's to get this hideous thing off my face.

Red Wednesday

I'm wearing red shoes today, that's why I call it 'red wed' hehehe! Someone approached me on one of my lowest moments and advised me to 'add some colour to my life.' I'm doing just that. OK, I may have taken her a bit too literally, but this should be fun. I shall have colour-coded days. Like the Power Rangers. No, not like the Teletubbies. Even as a child, I detested those things. They always got in the way of Samurai X. I still detest them. My kids shouldn't be encouraged to even dress like them. As such, I should make a mental note to avoid those colours of theirs.

While I think of tomorrow's theme, I should catch you up on certain things. I had been deployed in the hottest corner of Uganda for quite some time and it's a surprise I didn't just evaporate on arrival. OK, it's not that hot, but it's pretty hot that side. In fact, it's so hot that tea never cools. I assure you! For as long as I can recall, my tea never cooled, not even once! You can imagine how hard it was to find cold water. You can't? What do you mean you can't? Of course you can! Try it. (Disclaimer: If I start to sound weird, it means the heat might have done a number on me. Fear not, for it comes and goes.)

Back to the colors. I realize I don't have many pairs of shoes, much less a colour for every weekday. So, find me wearing green shoes, don't imagine it's Green Sunday! It might be the hat! I don't wear hats much, but she said it wouldn't be easy. If you're wondering, no, she isn't monitoring my progress. If she is, that wasn't part of the deal. And if I find that I'm wearing way too many colours at once, I'll blame it on my over-enthusiasm.

I know, this isn't a major comeback from 'wherever I had gone and couldn't write from' but she's here to give me some pointers about 'adding a little spring to my step.'
(wink)

Give me a moment, please.

Kingdom Come...

Hello blogren! Yeah, it's been too long but finally the dark clouds lifted. I can finally write again! On that note, I guess I can attend UBHH without feeling misplaced.
I have been doing a little reading lately. Not newspapers, actual reading. Ok, not magazines either. Inspirational stuff. Needed to be inspired.

So, I set about reading some comics. One storyline i found interesting is the title for my blog. This is the review:

The Joker kills a couple of guys at the Daily Planet, including Lois Lane. Sick, right? So, he's arrested and is to face trial, but some super-dude comes and kills him. The community at large is more than pleased to see the Joker wasted. For some reason, they don't tell us if Batman is one of them. Superman is furious, of course! Why would anyone kill the Joker? What happened to justice? What happened to the system? Why are they praising a murderous super-dude? I think he's jealous. Either that, or he's hurt that Lois Lane died, and the people are happy about it.
Anyway, he flies off in disgust to the Fortress where he spends the next decade pining over his great loss. The superhero community at that time also parts ways.

A decade later, there's hardly any difference between superhero and supervillian. They fight at will, causing death and destruction of property and so on... The humans now detest the superhumans (kyoka DC Comics can also be slow!). Superman gets over himself and seeks out a now aged Batman for help, but Batman refuses. He has his reasons. He tells him those reasons. Batman sets up a faction of non-powered heroes to police the threat. Lex Luthor also puts up a team. So does Superman, after extreme cajoling from Wonder Woman. Factions fight. Superman wins, eventually, as usual. Heroes lose their masks and live as acceptable citizens. Batman retires, and so does Superman.

Moral(s) of the story?

Superman was soaked in anguish and decided to abandon his hero life. He failed to realise that his presence was a sort of moral compass for up and coming heroes. The ideals he stood for provided hope for those he saved and worked with. His absence inadvertently caused the conflict. So, before you think you're worthless, remember that you mean the world to at least one person.

Let not your pain blind you to your potential! We can all be useful one way or another...

The life of a hero is not an easy one, but it's a useful one. If you're going to be a hero, it's a lifetime occupation, until you find someone to replace you.

(Feel free to add if you learned something I didn't!)

BHH: Re-cap?!

I had never been the first man on the scene, so I thought it would be memorable. Indeed, it was, for I was shocked! As I wondered what had become of the 'brethren' the ever-friendly Lulu joined me in my wondering. So, as we wondered whether we'd missed some communication, we were 'saved' by the sudden appearance of Dante. Yes, he actually walked in like he runs this town. He even shooed away the bouncers with their ka-metal detector. And that wasn't the last they heard from him. We hurriedly put together tables and a few seats lest he'd turn on us, but being the generally calm guy, our fears subsided soon after. So, we sat down and he regaled us with tales of his days past.

A few laughs later, I caught sight of Tipsyalcophobic and her friend Victoria tiptoeing past us. They went inside. As I wondered why, my eyes fell on the 'sharply' dressed young ladies at the entrance. Then I stopped wondering, for I knew they were up to something.

The inglourious Baz came in (more like rushed in, like he had hell's hounds at his heels) and quickly took his seat. I guess he's taking this 'celebrity author' thing a little too seriously. As he settled down, he kept sweeping nervous glances around. His fears were confirmed shortly afterwards. Tipsy and Vic came running towards him. I think they fell into his reluctant embrace. They were saying a lot of things, but the most repeated word was 'autograph.' I learned that they were peddling his new book for him, and that he had ammased an impressive number of fans, mainly campusers. So, he signed a few books and let them go. The greetings came later; much, much later.

Then the good part, rather, the 'good' person came. We were told that she's Samalie. We believed it, even clapped with joy! She looked so prim and proper that for a while I was concerned about whether I'd greeted her right. My concerns were calmed by a sip of modified Coke.

Dante took a photo. The bouncers reacted to the sudden flash by walking to our table, complete with the furious, intimidating look. When they saw that it was Dante with the offending item, they softened on their approach. They begged him not to take any more photos. Said something about privacy concerns. He said he'd take a few more and that would be that. They were more than happy to agree to those terms. They left without further resistance.We listened to rantings about how politically incorrect Avatar was, the new law that considers a phone as a computer, and older ladies. Not necessarily in that order.
Yeah, we were missing a good number of regulars... Perhaps they'd taken the month off. Hope to see them next time.

Kudos to Tipsy, whose antics kept us glued to our seats when we felt like giving up. Her friend Vic kept fanning the flames, so she may share in the spoils. Lulu showed off her 'awesomeness' and Dante had to say his name a dozen times. You can ask him what that was really about.

Suddenly....

I used to joke with my cousin Nev about how fun it would be to work in a telecom company. Well, it sounded fun at the time, since we would be in the much-publicized 'corporate world.' I wasn't totally right.

My fortunes took a crazy (and welcome) turn when I found myself being employed by a telecom giant. Hahaha... My 'dream' had come true! I looked up to the sky (of course, after I'd recovered from the shock) and thanked the Good Lord for this blessing. Then the realities set in. I lost many assumptions about the fantasy world I thought was 'corporate.' I was surprised to learn that people do seem to mind their own business. As such, that mentality gave me (arguably) the best blessing I could get out of the 'world,' my own dress code!

Now, as most people who know me will testify, I'm no friend of formal garb. Ties only end at those special functions, specifically a close friend's wedding, if I'm nice. I don't like tucking in, and I don't like those sharp shoes! Misonso, as they are fondly called.

I was told that since I'm an 'engineer' I'm expected to look the part. What more could I ask for? I had the bright eye of a kid on his first bike... So, I have not held back since my first day. Even the day of the interview, I didn't pull my punches. Great is the Lord indeed, for I have been wearing jeans, t-shirts, shirts and khaki slacks day in day out. So much so that recently I had to attend a farewell party of a close friend, and I almost couldn't find my formal attire! Some of my peeps wonder if I'm just kidding them. They should know better. I'm living the dream!!! Now, time to find a new dream. Here I come, Nev...

Wounded pride...

Why didn't you just let me be? You had me cornered, helpless, and wide open. You could've dealt me the final blow and ended this, but why did you not? You would have saved me all this pain, not just physical, but also psychological. How could I have lost to you so easily? Did I rush into this fight without proper knowledge of my opponent? Did I misinterpret the signs? Perhaps I didn't think through my actions well enough. It's because you did something that strange it's got me thinking about that day ever since.

That day has forever been engraved in my mind and my heart. The day my adversary spared me from certain doom. The reasons are still basically out there, but I must admit that it was honorable of you. You are not as bad as I thought.

I almost thought it was because you had mercy upon me, but I learnt later that it wasn't the case. No, you're not that compassionate, otherwise we wouldn't have had this fight. You must be quite honorable to let me go like that. Anyone else would have relished a chance like that, and wouldn't have missed a beat in doing me in. This was different. You just looked at me and smiled. I thought it was ironic when I found myself smiling too, but it wasn't. I was caught off-guard by your hesitation. I failed to understand it, and you didn't care to explain it.

Is it because after all the battles I've taken part in, my heart has been hardened towards compassion for my foes. I never hesitate once I've raised my sword to strike. Whenever I'm in a duel, one of us has to remain standing, and that has always been me. No one has stood against me and lived to tell the tale. I don't have recurring foes, just new ones. In battle, I'm decisive. I move swiftly and slice surely. But this, this is unnerving. It goes against everything I stand for.

Nevertheless, you stand over me, your hand reaches out to help me up. When I get to my feet, you smile and walk away. I look down in shame and as I do so, I see something I hadn't seen all this time. In my hand, I hold a shattered sword...