Monday, April 8, 2013

6 wacky ideas on how to (fully) relax...

A lot of us dislike Monday mornings. I don't know all the reasons, and 'because it's Monday' is not a good enough reason to dislike it. I dislike Monday mornings because even though I generally stay in on Sundays, relaxing and whatnot, I still get to Monday feeling exhausted, and not bright and chipper like my boss expects me to.

I would have titled this article under my "Black Monday" series, but I've since lost the rights to that. I ran the risk of my light-hearted post to be a reflection of the dire straits our economy is in. There's plenty of writers for that kind of shtick. So, as I (theoretically) kicked back on a Sunday evening, I thought to myself the things that would bring me total relaxation, both of soul and body. Tried massage, only worked for 10 minutes. Here are a few tips that might tickle your fancy.

1. Eat ice-cream while watching Tom and Jerry. 'Well, Safyre, there's lots of cartoons out there that are funny. Why T&J?' Well, there's barely any dialogue to pay attention to. All you have to do is watch and laugh. The ice-cream is just to keep your hands away from your phone. So make sure you have lots of it. Also make sure boss is out of office for lunch, if you think of doing this at work.

2. Go to the beach. Not exactly wacky, but think about it. Sunday isn't exactly a beach day, is it? Well, waves have that calming effect that most often puts old people to sleep. Try one of those deserted beaches, not the ones with hoards of barely dressed youths frolicking about, getting a 'tan'. Eat some fish while there, for it is just wrong to go to a beach and eat chicken, or rolex. Didn't your mommy teach you not to be disrespectful?

3. Light five candles, and try to put them out, kung-fu style. It involves thrusting your palm/fist up to the flame, stopping just short of it. The resulting force of the wind from your hand's motion should be enough to put out the flame. It looks simple enough in the movies. It can be done at home, right? Yeah, try it and get back to me. Just try not to be too enthusiastic and set your house ablaze, okay? Good.

4. Go to a house party, and try to dance alone on the 'dance floor'. Not as simple as it sounds, but the objective is to relax, not to care who's watching. Anti house parties these days aren't what they used to be. These days people be at parties whatsapping and tweeting about how much fun they're having. Just dance. Heck, do the Harlem Shake. You'll be surprised how uplifting a silly dance in front of people can be. If you're a guy, doing it in high heels is even better. Trust me.

5. Look at photos of kittens. Yeah, so what if you're not 'exactly' a cat person? What is it about cat pictures that you don't like? Pictures! Those little critters can break a smile onto the most battle-hardened faces. Doesn't matter if you're a dog lover or a mafia hit-man. You can hardly look at one without going all mushy inside, unless you're a dog. No offense, but dogs won't be reading this. For them, it would be like going through a lunch menu.

6. Sit on the floor and fold baby clothes. "But I don't have baby clothes, let alone a baby!" Well, find a friend/relative who has, dummy! Something about miniature clothes that is surprisingly fascinating. Don't look at it as a chore. Think of it as a show of love to the little one(s). If you have the taste for it, you could iron them before you fold them. In fact, you should probably iron them first, then fold them. Baby stuff has a tendency to subtly demand someone's full attention. Oh, and make sure baby is nowhere near you whilst you perform this service. That would be counter-productive.