Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Desperate times call for...

Grunts and groans. They can barely be heard over the din all around them. Every man seems to have his hands full, except these ones. Face on the dirt, all he can breathe is stale, dusty air. The smell of blood and sweat is thick in the air. He starts to feel delirious. His vision is clouding, all he can hear are distant, muffled sounds. Yet all that's on his mind is the task that still awaits him.

There's absolutely nothing intimidating about his nemesis. And yet the fate of two cities lies in his hands. He's a polite, well-mannered young man. However, it's not his demeanor that is scary; it's his skills.

There they are, two men in the midst of the chaos. One will rise, the other will fall. they've been at it for minutes, but it feels more like hours. Both men are incredibly skilled, yet this duel is more than that.

The situation seems grim. One is standing, the other is stooped, trying to clear his lungs of the blood caused by a series of blows to his chest. He's almost out of breath. The young man brandishes his sword. It's quite a masterpiece. Only three of its kind. The other is in the hands of his adversary. The third is in a museum. The man on the ground is in an unfortunate position. His is a broken sword...

(BHH Tomorrow!)

Thursday, November 19, 2009

Of actors and puppets: Painted faces

Time check: 8:30am. Gotta pick it up. Now, where are those new shoes she bought? Ah, she's found them. Rowdy little things, moreover on their first day of duty. These shoes and the lovely floral dress are sure to stop many a man in their tracks! She'll make it a point to waltz in a little late, just to cement the point. 'They have to notice me,' she thinks. Someone will have to make a move after they get an eyeful of this!

Time: 9:15am. Now, where's that watch. No, not the Casio. It's not for days like this. Today's Omega. Exclusive timepiece, this. One would surely stare in amazement. He'll don the striped long-sleeve, folded enough to highlight the jewel on his wrist. Deo's up and running. Coupled with Clarks, he's off. He's sure to make it in time. This time, they won't be taking him so lightly!

9:50am. Crowd's piling. Almost time for the showdown. Drat, didn't notice the bean-soup stain from yesterday's supper. Ah, well, who'll notice. We're all here for the same reason, right? There, a little scratch got the most of it off. Good thing these jeans don't show the stain. Eh, today people are looking so prim and proper, you could think God's going to roll-call!

10am. Showtime. Doors open. The masses pour in. Soul-enriching music playing. Really peaceful atmosphere, this. Just what everyone needs at this time of the week. Wait, how come no ladies are coming to sit next to me? I think I chose the wrong seat. Perhaps I should move. Ah, all hope is not lost, for here comes a damsel. Boy, does she look fine. This is going on well.

"Turn to your neighbour and tell him/her how wonderful they look." A few shy glances later, and things are ok. One barely manages to say the words. She shrugs, unimpressed. Boy lacks finesse. If you won't do it right, why bother? He seems to think she's being proud, so doesn't try again. He's admitted failure. Perhaps better luck next time. She wonders, "Are all these guys that slow? Can't they see? Whatever, it's their loss." Bishop advances.

"You look wonderful." Oh, finally, an artful brother. She smiles, gives him a once over, and is quite contented. This ought to get her through the day. Meanwhile, sounds coming from the speakers barely register in their minds. By the way, do you have a pen? She checks. Oh ****, she mutters. He's astonished, but hides it quickly, with the usual dashing smile. It's like he didn't hear a thing. Goodness, she's located the pen. She hands it over. Knight takes bishop.

She can't seem to get her elbow out of the guy's side. It's not like the place's crowded. She just seems not to mind it. Who can blame her? It seems the deo's already working its magic. Those ads actually have some truth. He tries to listen to the proceedings of the event. Queen pins bishop.

Suddenly, phone rings. He forgot to put in in silent mode. He loses points. Radio belts his tunes. Talk of bad timing. She looks at him with a frown on her face. There goes the glorious afternoon, or so he thinks. Ignores the caller, coz he's pretty 'busy' right now. Besides, getting out to receive a call now won't help his purpose. Queen pins knight.

After the close of the event, it's finally time to 'socialize.' That can't be too hard. The problem is how to chat freely without spilling the fish soup. So, he starts with the classic ice-breaker, "Praise the Lord!" She responds with the customary 'Amen' and they proceed to engage in fruitless light banter. He brags about various titles in as many fellowships. She grins, and talks of numerous overnight prayers attended, coupled with countless prayer meetings. I didn't know conversation could be so vain! Surely, is that the only way to talk to a christian lady? Bragging? At least they come to agree on something: each one finds the other extremely boring. Rook takes bishop. Check!

Meanwhile, Miss Peacock isn't having it any easier. Surely, someone noticed. But when it comes to building rapport, this guy is none the wiser. Whoever told him compliments go a long way to charming the fair ones probably left something out. All that's coming out of his mouth are compliments. The hapless chap is gobsmacked. Has nothing to say more than, "Eh, kyokka you're smart!" No wonder the brothers are labelled slow. It's the empty tins that make the loudest noise. These guys should be trained in the sacred art of rapport. She turns on her heel and leaves, in total disgust. How could she have dressed to 'kill,' only to be approached by only one guy? An incompetent one at that! Stalemate.

Ah, the best laid schemes of mice and men...

If you think clothes make the man, take him to a restaurant. Post me your findings. I will gladly applaud you for the results of your tests.

Same script, different cast.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Gods and Generals - Reinstate

Adam sure did sell us cheap! Just a bite of fruit? He could've done better than that. That's a picture of how much we can lose in just a moment of carelessness. Why carelessness? Well, since time immemorial, guys have left their women to wander off unattended, only to reap the consequences. From here onwards, ladies stop blaming your guys for 'tight-marking' you. Anti you know how history tends to repeat itself.

So, Adam sold his rights to this earth to that snake and...well most of you know how that story goes. In short, our status as Generals was lost that day. We became mere paupers, at the mercy of the current landlord. Until about 2000 years ago...

The God amongst men decides to do what's necessary. Never send a man to do God's job. In short, he reminds the snake who's in charge. Snake gets the point, amidst stifled pleas for mercy, anti the God-man has his heel on the snake's throat. So much for the terrifying landlord. The bugger's a sucker when it comes to The Lord. So, He demands for the keys and the title deed, which he hands over peacefully, and the God-man walks off to begin his restoration duties. As a reminder, the snake is left toothless..

He said, "As many as believed in Him, he gave the right to be called children of God." And also, "I say, ye are gods, and children of the Most High."


Apparently, were supposed to be gods. Well, not the gods that people come and sacrifice goats and chickens to as a way to get rich quick. No, neither the kind that demands worship and honour. NO. We are gods that are in authority over this earth, to multiply and subdue it. To be responsible custodians of this gift called 'planet earth.' Not behaving like those chaps in strikes who vandalize their own property! That means I tell that dog to stop chasing me for its own pleasure. Tell that mosquito to keep its malaria to itself, for I don't need it. The gods whose words have power and effect. Say it, and you shall have it. Indeed, to be gods among men, yet servants to our neighbours. Selfishness just doesn't fly. It never hurts to help every now and then.
I don't mean that they/we should be arrogant gods... Just be a human being who knows that the world belongs to us, not the other way around. Not to find ourselves chasing after mirages we call the pleasantries of life. We need things that last, things that stand the test of time. The rest is just stuff that gives some ease to our lives, providing some comfort.

We are in the world, but not of the world. Make the most of thine lives, all ye for whom the bell tolls. For one day, we'll face our Father and he'll wipe every tear from our eyes, or's a dreadful thing to fall into the hands of the Living God.

We could have been generals, but we can be gods...

Monday, November 9, 2009

Heroes are born, but Villains are made...

Ah, here we go again...

It's a common phrase that heroes are remembered after they have died. Quite true for most, until the advent of the 'superhero.' Then heroes started to live longer, and the cowards cheered them on, or got them to run strange errands. Who tells a superhero to rescue a cat stuck in a tree? The insolence!

Back to the gist of this charade...

Once upon a time there was a boy. He was the least favoured in school. Always picked on by the jocks because of his diminutive stature. Nevertheless, he kept creeping forward with his life, coz life at school was far better than that at home. Who wouldn't want a break from an abusive father and alcoholic mom? So, as an ordinary boy, he has a huge crush on the most popular girl at school. Of course he's had this crush since kindergarten. She just happens to be in high school now (A-level, if you will.) Jock knows Recluse loves the girl entirely, but tries to frustrate his every attempt to woo her.

All the recluse ever sees in his life is injustice. Nobody is bold enough to step up to the plate and bat the ball out of the field. For all he knows, everyone is a coward in their own right. But he knows he can be different. He can step up. His is not direct approach, but stealth, subtle in his dealings. Meticulous in his habits.

Surprisingly, the jock has similar parents. His dad is not only violent, but a perfectionist. His excellence in sports is just a front for his otherwise broken soul. He prefers that the people around him don't see his misery. But he's resolute. His determination is rock-solid. His heart unwavering.

At the last dance, it would be his dream to ask her to dance with him, and he almost does, until the handsome jock beats him to the punch. He's broken.

Fast forward, 10 years later...

One is a lawyer, the other a banker. Both are businessmen. None got the girl in the end. She left the jock for an older man. She married him for the money. Well, wasn't she a social climber? The older man banks with the banker, and the lawyer does his legal stuff.

You tell me who becomes the hero and who becomes the villain...


Thursday, October 15, 2009

Villains: Face-off

I'm not going to lie to you...I love movies!! I hear you mumbling, "Duh! Who doesn't?" Are you done? Ok, let me continue.
I love certain kinds of movies, but today, Ima talk about ze action sci-fi genre.
Now, these are characterised by not-so-musclebound lead actors with lots of toys at their disposal. So, it's usually a battle of wits rather than brute strength.
I have learnt that in these flix, the villain makes the movie hot. I can hear the cogs squeaking as they turn in some brains. In simple terms, the badder (read suave) the villain, the better the flix, even if the protagonist is a half-wit.

Presenting three case studies:
Who can forget the enigmatic, ruthless, smooth operator known as 'Agent Smith' of the Matrix trilogy? Villainy can hardly have a better benchmark! Not just strong, but a schemer as well, to be dealt with by running away, not facing him.
I would be glad to have had the opportunity of fleeing from that guy!

There's the unforgettable, mysterious, happy-go-lucky, pragmatic Clown Prince of crime...The Joker (The Dark Knight). This one redefined the elusive villain. No brawn, all brain. The Batman sure had a hard time with this one. 'He can't be bought, bullied, reasoned, or negotiated with.'

But this year was the year of the Doctor/Cobra Commander (G.I.Joe: The Rise of Cobra). Man, that guy's demeanor is as imposing as it is terrifying. His cold, matter-of-fact voice was the killer! Such a green snake in the grass, indeed a symbol of lethal purpose, unseen until he strikes! Even if the movie were to lack depth, that guy's scenes were my favourite.

Of course there are others, but feel free to make you're own list. These are the ones who have my slice of the cake. For those in contention, it's not up for discussion.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Finally, the event you've all been hoping not to come,
But it has arrived anyway. Be there.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Sigma 6: Bugandans

Deep in the heart of Kampala city, rioters have it turning in chaos. Regal and tribal drama. Teargas and military police trying to sort things out. Sigma 6 lurks in a dark corridor in a city high-rise. Mission: Classified.

Duke: Alright men, this is what we were trained to do. Though it comes as a surprise, we are ever ready.
Captain: What's your strategy, Sir? These goons have covered all exits. This building is a death trap.
Duke: Well said, since two have lost their lives here in the past week. We shall not add to that tally.
Captain: Ok. (Shouts to soldiers) Prepare to drop in 3, 2, 1...

Troops drop from Workers House, onto the chaos beneath..All guns blazing.

Duke: Tango squad, I need you to cover my flank. Captain, take point. We're headed north to Crane Chambers. Delta and Bravo, follow Maverick for extraction of our asset in Mutaasa Kafeero. Rendezvous ETA 15 minutes. Go, go, go!!

6 minutes later...

Crusher: Captain, we're taking heavy heavy fire. Request support from Delta team.
Captain: How many casualties?
Crusher: Six, sir.
Captain: Soldier, you're being careless.
Crusher: Casualties are not ours sir. They're the opposition. Nearest hospital is 6 clicks due north.
Captain: Delta team is on its way. And for Pete's sake, use suppression darts only.
Crusher: Roger. Over and out!


Maverick: Duke, asset is not at the extraction point. I repeat, asset is not at extraction point.
Duke: For how long has she been AWOL?
maverick: We don't know, Sir. We estimate about 2 minutes. Lots of rocks here. We think she ran for cover elsewhere.
Duke: Find her!

Captain: The riot police is interfering with our mission.
Duke: Patch me through to HQ.

Patches him through...
Duke: HQ, this is Duke, commander of Tango team, Sigma 6.
HQ: What's your status?
Duke: Local riot police interference with operation.
HQ: Authorization denied, non-responsive. Evacuate immediately.
Duke: Didn't catch that last statement. Over and out.

Captain: So, proceed as planned?
Duke: Aye.
(Sigma 6, all teams, this is Commander Duke. Local law enforcement has denied us authorization for our search and rescue. Citing conflict of interest. I'm not going to lie to you, but the rioters are armed to the socks. But it will be a cold day in hell before I leave my Baroness behind.

Ditch the suppression clips. We're going in hot. Shoot hostiles on sight, don't take prisoners, and don't become one.)


Friday, September 4, 2009

Blissful Trip

I live in Kiwatule. For the learned, this means that when coming from town, I'll inevitably have a stop-over in Ntinda before I can proceed. And that has been the trend for a while. Usually, there's nothing extraordinary about my journey, until yesterday.

It is rumoured that some guys are of such exceptional skill that they can chat up a total stranger of a lady and have her give them her phone number within three minutes. I once managed in around 20 minutes, so I'm a long shot from these 'legends.'

So, I get into the taxi, all loaded with Ipod and poker-face, when a belle gets in and seats herself next to me. Now I know the limitations of space in the back seat of a taxi, but this lady sat a little too close for initial comfort. I was gobsmacked. I hardly heard myself mutter a 'hi' and I'm not sure if she responded. Anti I was wearing earphones. But i saw her smile at me in response.

She seemed to prefer to sit with her body facing me, rather than the dude at the other end of the seat. I thought it had something to do with the eyeful of a profile that my face possesses. Her arm was on my arm, her knee on my knee, my eyes fixated on...the buildings that we kept speeding past. I couldn't help laughing at myself for being in thi position, yet being unable to act. I was truly and completely confined.

Some moments are just to be enjoyed while they last, however short they may be. Anyone who knows better is certain that the trip from Ntinda to Kiwatule barely lasts 10 minutes. Had it not been for the song I was listening to being so captivating, I would have certainly made a move...away from that seat. no offence really, but I'm just not good at talking to pretty ladies in a taxi.

Some guy who didn't know better once did that, moreover from town to Bweyogerere. Kati, the madam was really laughing at his jokes, complete with the fabled shoulder tap. The guy thought he'd struck gold. She, of course got out before him, in Kireka, smiled at the conductor and waved at him. He, obliviously, waved back. On reaching Bweyos, the guy gives conductor his 1k, to which the conductor retorted,"Eh, ate ezooli omukyala?" The guy wonders. Conductor reminds him of the lady he waved to.
It strikes him like a Muhammed Ali punch, straight to the temple. He's down for the count. He's been had! Sad thing is that his travels were on tight budget, so that meant no supper, no breakfast, and footing most of the way to town the next day.

I'm not saying I wouldn't part with a mere 300/= for such a belle, it's just not my style. We got out at the same stage. All hope was restored, but i thought better (or is it now worse) not to say anything apart from:

Me: Hi.
She: Hi.
Me: Welcome back. It was quite a trip.
She: Yes it was. What are you listening to?
Me: The sweet voice that sounds like a heavenly symphony.
She: (Chuckles) Why, thank you.
Me: You're welcome. Well, have a good night.
(We had reached a crossroads. We had to part, no matter what)
She: I wonder if...
Me: If it's meant to be, it will be.
(Curtains fall. Applause from crowd.)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Curious Derision..

I don't quite understand the logic of this whole thing. Why the charade? I met a lady I, I met this lady and, for all pretences, decided to unearth what she had been up to lately. She smiled curteously and claimed nothing much was happening.
I snickered. She countered by asking me why i had chucked her. That, right there, is where my problem is.

I mean, why wonder? Couldn't you have just called, or texted? She had to wait till she finds me (unexpectedly, of course) to put the blame of silence on me? We have
each other's contacts. It's not like when I buy airtime for 2k, I'm given 6k! We both share airtime honours. What thou loadeth, that ye shall receive, mais non? And why do they go for that one first? There must be a shortage of opening lines these days. Even someone you barely know will remark on how lost you are, or how you've chucked them.

Of course it varies depending on who says it. I was in a video library once, and the lovely lady there thought I looked familiar. I shrugged. She couldn't (or wouldn't) tell me where she'd seen me. I got my flicks and bolted. I was there again on an excursion some weeks later, find her there again, and she does the inevitable. "Hi, as you're lost." I almost counter with my personal favourite, "Really? Am I in the wrong place?" I fight off the temptation like a seasoned pugilist. How I wish that scenario had played out differently.

Perhaps I'd walk in, then she'd look up, into my gleaming eyes, and step forth into my waiting embrace. Then I'd tell her how I was in the area and decided to drop by 'to see if there are any new movies.' It's partly true. At least that's what could have been.
Well, since she notices that I've been lost, I think I should take her seriously...and find another library!

I wonder if my memory's failing, or I acquired celebrity status. I tend to meet a lot of people who know me, but i know zilch about them. And most of them are pretty ladies. You know, they smile and wave, flick their hair back, and all that girly stuff. One day, I will surely capitalize on the opportunity. We'll have a wholesome chat, laugh, grin, and then maybe I'll remember their names. Curious and curiouser.

I'm starting to collect possible responses to the phrases 'as you're lost' and 'some chucking' and so far this is what I've come up with. Feel free to add:

1. Perhaps there's a good reason, and I intend to keep it that way.
2. Waah! You're the one who's guilty!
3. Didn't you get my message?
4. I called, but you're line was busy. (Works every time!)
5. Anti you know, credit crunch.
6. Me?! I can never chuck you. I swear. (For the paranoid.)
7. (Silence, followed by..) Hmm.
8. Hmm..munange.. (Just that, then quickly change topic.)
9. Same to you.

Well, you can fill in the 10th, and send to me for marking.

Disclaimer: The views expressed are pure in nature. Any variations/impressions incured are entirely the responsibility of the reader.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Game, set, match!

I thought I had it in my five... I couldn't have been more wrong. 'The girl is bad... The girl is dangerous.'

The is the fabled 'green snake in the grass' that girl. She did things i thought
couldn't EVER happen to me. Well, it's true that time and chance happeneth to them all.

She almost made a hero out of me. Needless to say, she quit while I was yet an antihero. Now that's all I'm going to be, as far as she's concerned. But then, the best is yet to come. Though she may have won the battle, the war is far from over.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Villains: Anti-hero

And now, our much anticipated broadband internet faces further delay! This is somehow expected of the administration in charge. Imagine ours apparently cost three times as much as Rwanda's, for the same length of cable! This is preposterous!

Leaving that for more incensed Ugandans, there's a saying, "There's nothing new under the sun." I believe the great king Solomon said that, but he must have meant that history repeats itself. You either die a hero, or live long enough to become the villain.

Pres. Richard Nixon was a revolutionary, a respected and much admired man, one who turned around the US economy, dealt aggressively with racial segregation in schools, controlled prices, and all kinds of heroics that earned him local and international acclaim. That was until the Watergate scandal. That turned out to be his 'Delilah.'
Such a long 'fall from grace' it was, the people could hardly believe it.
But so strong was the press that they 'pressed' a resignation out of him.
He was later pardoned...

Watch out for our next villain.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009


Every morning, when I read the papers, I can't help but think our country has a very formidable brood of villains. People are buying high-end SUVs while Teso starves.
Even if they had planned to buy them all along, they could have at least waited till the famine abates.

Then there's all the scam artists running around. They all have similar catchphrases.. "Want to make easy extra cash?" or "Need a well-paying job?" and so on. Why do people keep falling for the same tricks? People are entitled to their opinions.

I hear a whole town council fell for one clever scam. That was hillarious. Residents and authorities alike fell for it.

I wonder when our hero will arise. Whenever that is, I'm sure it will be at the precipice of this spiral towards anarchy.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Project: Stingray (Part 1)

Looks like I got a new hobby over the weekend. I now officially love swimming! It wasn't my first time, but it sure felt like it. The last time I had tried, I hadn't really succeeded.

Anyhow, this time around, I went with a trainer and 'cheerleader,' so i was being yelled at and shouted at. It was comforting.

I thought it was as obvious as it looks when I watch other people do it. I was almost right. I didn't consider the fact that having 3 instructors could complicate things further.

When you look like you're in a plight of sorts, it's amusing how people come to your rescue, each giving advice that's contrary to the other's. So, I tried each of their theories, but it's the 3rd guy's stuff that seemed to cover more groud (er..water).

Needless to say, in 30 minutes, i was as good at swimming as a dog. I hope to upgrade to a better mammal next time... perhaps an otter.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Attempted failure

For a moment, I thought I was gazing at the sunset. So awesome, so tender. So gentle and soothing. A reminder of all that's good in this life. And then, suddenly, she stood up.

It was then that I realised the futility of my planned 'ambush.' Now, the golden rule in approaching a lady is to do it within 3 seconds. That way, you don't have time to change your mind, or hesitate. She was fifteen seconds out, So you can guess what happened.

Anyway, I tried to be as bold as i could, but her beauty was/is breathtaking. I thought my heart was in my throat and my tongue had retreated to my gut.

I think I gasped, "Hi." She flicked her hair to one side and said, "Did you say something?"

I: I didn't. I just gasped.
She: Why? Is there something wrong?

I: As a matter of fact, there is.
She: Well, what is it?

I: I think it's a little unfair for all the beauty in this building to be concentrated in one body.

She: (Chuckles)
I: Yes, you guessed it. Hers.
She: Whose?! (Sounding somewhat distraught)

I: You didn't think I was talking about you, did you?
She: Of course not. (Liar!)

I: Very well then, it's been real nice praising another woman before you. But, you look very pretty yourself too.

She: Is that consolation?
I: I hope so. You may not find it anywhere else.

She: 'Hysterical laughter' I see you're trying to be funny.
I: I doubt that. Looks like I succeeded!

And then we exchanged contacts (not lenses), just like that. I bet she went home bragging like a peacock. I now know that sarcasm wins, every time!

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Gods and Generals- Part 1

I was at a well known local amusement park recently. I was surprised I could enjoy some of those rides at 'this' age. It later occured to me that adrenaline rushes are no respecters of age! I found myself screaming like a child, and had the joy of watching full grown men and women also screaming like little girls..

Funny thing is, the little girls weren't party to the screaming. They were too busy crying their hearts out..

Alright, enough of the lollygagging; Ahem!

One is a gift, the other a rank.

One is a state of being, the other a being of the state..

I would rather be the one, than be the other...

One is original, the other a copy....

One is absolute, the other subjective...

The ability to look into situations and see their outcome, as well as have some control and ability to determine the that's something I'd like to do regularly.

To be continued....

Friday, June 12, 2009

Biting the hand that feeds you...

It's been a while, but I just had to talk about this..

What's with all the people eating pastors alive over 'allegations' of unbecoming behaviour? Here are some thoughts..

1. If you're foolish enough to give in to fleshly desires, don't be careless enough not to cover your tracks.

2. Sometimes journalists and the public have a short memory of religious leaders' track records.

3. You are bound to become famous overnight by being tagged as 'gay.' This also works for your accusers. it could as well be a win-win situation.

4. God and the Gospel can defend themselves. Why do you think the Bible is still the world's best seller up to now?

5. It should be declared illegal for church leaders to wash their dirty linen in public. The Bible actually discourages such behaviour.

There should be some level of commitment and loyalty exhibited by the christian folk, and not just throwing useless comments here and there. It's not about who's right or wrong, but the reaction garnered by the masses about such a trivial issue.

Sayonara to all the pretenders, and Hurrah to the loyal..

N.B: The views expressed are not necessarily the views of the writer or readers. They are just thoughts.

Thursday, February 5, 2009

About the rich dude..

Stories have been told of the exploits of the 'coloured folk'....I'm not talking about guys who own a Mercedes or a Range Rover. I'm talking about guys who own a FLEET of luxury rides..Guys who have that other kind of money.. Guys who have...'giraffe money'. I mean, how rich can you get? A guy has 3ooo acres of land and 2 giraffes? I can barely keep a dog! It's almost unfair to know that one guy can own one third of Buganda... and leave the no-gooders haggling about the rest of it. These guys think bargaining is only done by hostage negotiators.

That's just the kind of role model I would like to have. Imagine having a gold plated bathroom, and you are labelled 'filthy-rich.' Come to think of actually makes sense!

Some of these guys think the credit crunch is some kind of cereal...

These guys can even afford to wear whatever they like...and have half the world trying to emulate them!

Some people wear gold accessories, but these guys have golden dining tables, golden cutlery, golden phones, golden bank accounts, you name it. Everything they touch turns to gold.
I wonder if all that money can really buy happiness and trust...

AHH...It seems vain, but my time will soon come... As for me, I'll have 'dolphin money.'

Tuesday, February 3, 2009

Lost in Translation

I've always been wary of people who talk too much.. Frankly, they take too long to put their pooint forward, simple as it may be. To make matters worse, they assume that the first language they used was a bit too hard for you to understand.. so they decide to translate for you. Normally, I would appreciate the effort, only if you are using a language I can't even construct a sentence in.. Kind of like selling you a car, and the tires separately.

Now, this fellow accosts me and tells me, "Kati, now, i need you to tolerate with me peku town, anti this journey is insobokable without your giganormous input." and a couple of other things which evaded my conscience. So, I told him, "You woke up, and somehow miraculously expected to find me and have me accompany you on your errands, and even fund your journey?! You have a lot of nerve!" To which he replied, "Anti the guy I want to spot has my stuff naye he banje's me.."

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Freedom of X-presh'n

Usually, there's so many ways to go about it. But for most, when angered by a certain situation, will choose to express it with a word. Actually, this word could mean a verb, noun, place, person, etc. I'm yet to figure out why these words are always restricted to four letters... Is it coz of the fact that when one is infuriated, their overall intelligence drops by that much? I mean, how often do you catch a guy, when mad, saying, "this whole thing has de-stabilized my mental faculties," or, "I'm really furious about what that oaf has just done."
Instead, you hear things like, "She's pissing me off; I'm *@#*ed, or this guy's trying to *&$# with me. (Due to the nature of the writer, the supposed phrases could not be clearly expressed. But if you have even half a brain, you should follow!)
Personally, I'm a lot more sophisticated than that. In the same scenario, I would say, "Someone at work is getting on my nerves. If this persists, I'll be forced into taking serious measures to ......." and I threaten doing what I don't really intend to do..
I like 'Everybody hates Chris' especially Rochelle, who threatens to 'shove her feet so far up one's behind that they'll have toes for teeth!'

Let me go tell off this scoundrel who thinks he can sell me 2k airtime at 2500/=....

Friday, January 16, 2009

Never too late..

Well, I guess my first post should be about my very first experience with real-life bloggers at BHH! How, like superheroes, even bloggers have alter-egos. I just don't quite know who's the real person and who's "just the pretty face." For now, I have only kind words. I was good meeting B2B, Detamble, Jackfruity, Rev, Johnny23, Darlene, and so on. I won't expose my weakness in names yet, but I won't forget those faces.

It's kinda hard to find something to talk about in a meeting of the 'blog-minded'. I must say it wasn't disappointing. Hope to be more regular in times to come... In the meantime, 'Adios, amigos!'