The Little Known Life Of A Newborn...

Sleep is peace. Sleep is calm. Sleep is serenity. And you can imagine with what rage I reacted when I was abruptly woken up from my slumber.

Now, I'd spent all my life encapsulated in a viscous medium. I didn't need anything. Life was simple and straightforward. Before I knew it, I felt appendages prodding and pulling at my head, followed by muffled sounds of what seemed like concern. I shook about vigorously to fend them off, but they remain unrelenting in their quest to disturb my peace. At that point, I just relaxed and let them be. It took them a while, but they eventually found the means to 'liberate' me from my peaceful confinement.

My arrival was greeted by cheers of excitement and sighs of relief. Apparently, my mother was concerned about my tardiness. I had announced my imminent arrival several hours in advance, but I was taking my time to actually vacate the premises. There was a problem and I had to be evacuated via less-than-ideal means. Anyway, here we were. I found myself crying as my lungs filled with air for the first time. but these adults, instead of noticing my pain, they just clapped and hi-fived themselves like I had just recited an amazing poem or won a bet. I was whisked away to another quieter room and immersed in a warm liquid. It felt oddly comforting and I almost fell asleep if it wasn't for the roughness with which I was being handled. Anyway, several minutes later I'm placed in what felt like a warm dry box and I just drifted off into sleep.

I woke up a while later, to a warm sensation on my... Wait. I know what you're thinking. Everything is warm, warm, warm. I don't know why yet. Must be the norm in these parts. I've only felt little pangs of something other than warm. Only for split seconds at best. I guess I'll learn the reason why sometime later. As I was saying, I woke up to a warm sensation on my face. I tried to look up, but I could barely make out the images I'm seeing. I wonder what I was expecting, having just opened them for the first time. I'll save that for later. I needed to do a check on what senses were working before I descend into a state of total panic.

I heard the sound of a familiar heartbeat though. It was a little weak, but I'd know that heartbeat anywhere. I tried to move my limbs, but all they did was twitch about spasmodically. I couldn't even scratch the itch on my face. My hands seemed to be covered in some layer of cloth. I'm aware of the individual appendages at the end of my arms, but they didn't move as well and I'd have wanted them to. It's the same story about my legs. I kept hearing people drawing close and saying, "Aww... She looks just like her mother," and, "She has her father's ears!" I wouldn't know. Haven't had the chance to form my own opinion of their opinions. I tried to ask them why they thought so, but someone shoved a soft conical object into my mouth. My attempt to spit it out inadvertently led to biting into it, which caused a flood of liquid to fill my mouth. Come to think of it, I was indeed feeling queer, and this amazing liquid seemed to be doing the trick in making me feel better.

After being 'around' for a while, I'm starting to think I'm speaking to idiots. They never quite seem to understand a word of what I'm saying, yet I can understand them. They seem to fumble about with different remedies to my summons until they stumble upon what I wanted them to know. It's so tiresome that I fall asleep soon after my need has been met. On the other hand, it's a rather peaceful life so I can't complain that much.

As it appears, I'll be spending most of my days in this semi-sentient state until my motor and linguistic abilities develop some more. In the meantime, they'll keep treating me like and calling me a baby. I don't know why, but being a baby is far from adorable from my point of view. Amidst being randomly poked, tickled, smiled at and called names, I have to at least keep my eyes open to show some semblance of life and interest in what they are doing. They have a tendency to get worried by my inactivity. And yet, the only way I can get away from all this nonsense is by falling asleep.

Sleep is peace. Sleep is calm. Sleep is serenity.

Creed vs Southpaw

VS

Last weekend, I found myself presented with a double-header of boxing movies. Now, I have a mild interest in boxing, but I still like the entertainment a boxing movie brings. Sadly, there are very few boxing matches in real life that are as intriguing as the Hollywood versions. Anyway, I took it upon myself to be entertained by ‘gladiators’ for whom the script of the fight is already written. That’s fine. But it’s the execution of each that created the vast gap that is between these two movies. Let me explain:

#1 – Southpaw

This one, starring Jake Gyllenhaal (Prince of Persia, Nightcrawler), is about a current Light Heavyweight Champion who loses everything and spends about 2/3 of the movie seeking redemption. I shall not fault the acting in this movie. It has credible actors/actresses (with the exception of Curtis “50 Cent” Jackson, whose acting ain’t worth a dime). Maybe it was the flow of the story. I failed to get invested in the life and struggles of Billy Hope, the disgraced champion. First of all, it was his own stupidity that cost him everything. So, we're suddenly supposed to believe that in a few weeks, he's on the path of redemption. And the only way to do that is to fight 'one more time'? It also went to show (or appeared to show) how flimsy riches can be. You go from wealthy to scraping by in just a few weeks, despite having the 'best manager in the business'? I'll let that one slide. But even at the end, while there was a moral exposition, I was barely moved. I was like, “Yeah, typical Hollywood half-assed attempt to make a credible story.” In fact, I spent most of the time WhatsApping and Instagramming and Facebooking. Yeah, it was neither engaging nor riveting, and I found no need to even root for the main character, or care about his story arc. Again, this had little to do with Jake’s acting abilities. Perhaps the movie was better suited as a biography. As for the boxing itself, I'd rather watch Fight Club or Banshee if I want bloody, semi-skilled brutal brawling. And even saying 'semi-skilled' is an insult to my preferences.

#2 – Creed

This one stars Michael B. Jordan (Chronicle, Fantastic Four) as Adonis Johnson Creed, the son of Apollo Creed (from the Rocky movies) and light heavyweight boxing prodigy. He’s a natural talent but at the start of the movie, he has been self-trained and has no professional experience. He’s not had a father figure in life but he’s a pretty sensible guy. He’s rather relatable and even likeable. He refuses to be associated with his father’s boxing legacy, instead preferring to forge his own. But in the end, he comes to terms with being his father’s son, and the pedigree that comes with it. So immense is his fighting prowess that the champion actually calls him out for a fight! It’s a struggle that’s common with children whose parents’ achievements put pressure on them. But this guy manages to shoulder the burden with his head held high. There was not a dull moment and I thoroughly enjoyed watching this movie. And the requisite final fight? Ah, it was splendid. It wasn't just the fight, but the atmosphere of it. The commentators were hilarious. Plus, who doesn't like a capable underdog? It's not even one of those movies where they appear to cheat for the underdog. Nope. This one brought the goods. Left the opponent relying only on his vast experience and even that was barely enough to keep him on his feet. All round, it was an amazing movie.

In summary, I think Creed was the better boxing movie. And it's not even by a TKO. It properly floored Southpaw and even did a victory dance. It wasn't pulling any punches. Okay, enough of the boxing puns. I know some will disagree. If you do, please state your reasons. I’m a reasonable gentleman. No need for frothing and name calling, yo!

How To Party Like A Rich Gang Fella...

Who rocks the party that rocks the party?

Since Beewol brought this matter to my attention, I've been thinking. Who are these Rich Gang fellas? Are they pretenders or true ballers? Throwing an exclusive themed party at a nightclub shows you got dime, but it doesn't show that you're a baller. and the impression they give when they take selfies lying in bed with stacks of currency seems to imply that they imagine themselves ballers. As if the black SUVs with heavily tinted windows and personalized plates are supposed to bolster that statement. Why must all of them have fur coats? Has so much air conditioning frozen their minds? It’s hot in Uganda! Why the heck would you even need a fur coat? It’s very impractical. Anyway, I digress. Now, if you're a baller, you don't ask 'Where the party at?" You are the party! If you want to party with true baller status, here’s what you should do:

#1 - Throw the party at a mansion, preferably with a pool. Throwing a massive party is something the affluent do. It's the ultimate self-glorification in most places, if the local council won't let you erect a marble statue in your honor. Remember The Count of Monte Cristo? Yeah, pick a leaf from that guy. These things of throwing theme parties at clubs do not filter attendants as well as a ‘private’ house party does. Besides, you can always hire a premium DJ. At a house/mansion, anything can happen, and people won’t have to worry about the bouncers who live to protect the reputation of the establishment. By having the party at your own private premises, you can be in control of a lot of things. Oh, it doesn’t have to be your own domicile. You could rent a furnished mansion for a weekend. After all, you’re a baller. It shouldn’t be difficult.

#2 - Hire military personnel as bouncers. Yes, they are used to following rules and have a great sense of self control even under stressful conditions. You, the baller, also get to order soldiers around. Not many people can do that, in case you hadn’t noticed. By having military bouncers, safety is assured. And they won’t get involved in situations unless there’s real danger. Plus, they’ll only be in the parking lot for observation purposes. They’ll not interfere. However, you must resist the urge to get them to bring you a drink. I assure you, they will not do that.

#3 - Get a world-class mixologist/bartender. Okay, as a baller, you’ll ensure that there’s plenty of drinks for everybody available, but you need that extra touch that sets your party apart. Even relatively well-to-do people can throw a party with free drinks. You’re a baller. You need a mixologist, likely one who can juggle stuff. It adds class to your shindig, and even makes for interesting bar time.  You hire that guy, and he'll give you a list of what he needs to make things happen. And if you sort him out, he'll make things happen. Plus, there's no demerit to having the mixologist in your favour. None.

#4 - Send invites through a guy that knows whom to invite. The success of a party largely depends on the type of people attending it. There’s this kind of person that doesn’t know what to do at a party. They go but refuse to socialize at any level, making it difficult for the people they came with to enjoy the party because they are overly concerned by their comrade’s lack of involvement in the revelries. We do not need such negativity at a baller’s party. It’s only for those that want to party. And they must be loud. No one must have a reason to utter the words ‘I am bored’ at your party. Any reference to boredom at a baller’s party shall be swiftly met with a removal of the offender from the premises, with or without their friends. 

#5 -  Make sure you're the biggest dog in the yard. You don't want a situation where you're rubbing shoulders with your peers. Those ones are not so easily impressed. You want to be worshipped so make sure those that are invited are inferior. Besides, that renders any piss contest among themselves moot. You've seen people puff up their chests while introducing themselves, feeling like the world owes them. That won't be happening at a baller's party. As a baller, you need people who will easily be pleased, and will adore you for days! You must be the centre of attention, and people should mostly be talking about you and what an awesome party you're throwing. If you want to hang out with peers, there's exclusive clubs for that sort of thing.

#6 - Be ready to banish anyone who shows up with the following to your party; selfie sticks, dogs, spouses, relatives,  negative attitudes. Seriously, why are you bringing your spouse? So you can trick unsuspecting revellers to occupy her while you go stare at lithe bodies in the pool? Maybe some people have never had the (dis)pleasure of spending the better part of a party talking to a married person. Of all the singles available in the area, why would you want to engage in revelry with a married person? If you're saying that you'd rather not fully engage in activities, refer to #4. You deserve to be kicked out, (with someone's spouse) and go have your 'fun' some place else. That should make for an interesting story. We don't want ungrateful people at a baller's party, do we?

Now, go ahead and show these pretenders how a true baller does it.You can be sure songs will be sung and tales will be told about the Rich Gang of Kampala City.

How To Make A Local Hit Song...

The Kampala nightlife and radio waves are ruled by the country's most club-banging songs. The kinds of songs you'll hear your 7-year old neighbour singing word for word with incredible precision. If he's in the mood, he'll even burst out the appropriate dance moves. But, when you take a moment and focus on these songs, you'll find an undeniable similarity with most of them. Now, for those that are looking for the secret sauce that will make your track delectable, here's the recipe.

#1 Introduce everyone involved in making the track. This is a must, and if done properly, will have people jumping to their feet even before the real song begins. Most people start by mentioning the producer. If the producer has a good reputation, half your work is already done. If you don't do it, you are doomed to fail. You can also add, "It's another one..." even if it's your first. After all, at this point you don't have many fans, and most listeners don't know better. But they will keep their ears to the ground waiting for 'another one'. For me, whenever I hear 'Diki Music' I just begin bobbing my head.

#2 Introduce a new slang/phrase. Come up with a new word or phrase, use it repeatedly in the song, and soon everyone will be using it. It must be vernacular. We are not here to teach people English. Support the local language. Think about it. Do you know what 'dorobucci' means? Now you get the gist of it. Teach Africa something new. Totya lossi.

#3 Feature someone prominent. There's plenty to be gained by doing a collabo, especially if you're new to the music game. But even experienced musicians know it's good for the fans to do a collabo. My personal choice would be Irene Ntale. She seems to just elevate any song she features in. Just make sure the collabo is not a competition of vocal prowess. You want harmony. Like Radio and Weasel, who are on full-time collabo mode. If you are fortunate enough to get an international artist to collabo with, do not waste the opportunity. It's your chance to create something epic. Don't hurriedly whip up a song in 4 hours and call it a hit. We will notice how bad it is instantly. And randomly throwing in "Badman Rasta featuring Mavado" won't automatically make us like the song. Put in the effort.

#4 Make sure the lyrics have double meanings. Listeners love musical riddles. On top of being catchy, you'll have the entire city talking about your song, trying to decipher its true meaning. They'll be like, "Is he talking about black tea, or some kind of person? What does this 'chai mukalu' song really mean?" Yes, that's what you want as a musician. People listening and talking about your song. Up to now, people honestly believe Sheebah really loves ice cream.

#5 Shoot a video. Now, there are three essentials of any good local music video. Fruits, background people, and at least one smiling girl. Makes it believable. You don't want to be seen as distant. You want people to see you as someone they can relate to. Leave the expensive cars and numerous girls to the rappers. Unless your song is about such things, then it's appropriate. But if you're singing about how humble and down to earth you are when you're clad in more gold chains than an Egyptian pharaoh, you are truly lost.

#6 Sing things we can hear and understand. These things of rattling and bubbling unintelligible nonsense should no longer be allowed. Either you're a moron or you have the lousiest songwriter in the business. Or both. We want music, not a silly excuse to spend 3 minutes. Besides, if you can't sing, what are you doing in the studio? You're just giving high school students headaches as they try to jot down your lyrics for the next miming session.

#7 Don't say your own name more than once in your own song. Twice, if you really must. We are not complete idiots. The radio presenters will tell us. you told us at the beginning. You'll probably say it in the outro. Don't throw it in the lyrics every now and then, even if it rhymes with 'pizza'.

Now that you're armed to the teeth with this advice, you can head over to the studio and work on another run-of-the-mill hit song. Hopefully we'll have pleasant memories of it several years later, like we do now whenever we listen to 'Mic ya Ziggy Dee'.

Crossing the Teenage Threshold

Image courtesy of skinnerart.photoshelter.com

When you're a teenager, the world is vibrant and full of opportunity. It's like there's a wall that's been in front of you for a very long time. You've always wondered what things were like on the other side of the wall. You always heard sounds of laughter and playful banter floating over it for your little ears to absorb and interpret in whatever way your young mind can. Then one day, you had grown big enough to see for yourself what was on the other end. Being a teenager means being on the fence. There are perks to being young, but there's privileges to being mature too. People begin to trust you and let you go off and do things on your own. But as you grow older, your tolerance for childishness reduces. Suddenly, your primary school going sibling is so boring you wonder how you guys ever enjoyed time together. Suddenly, everyone younger than you is a nuisance. What with all their pettiness and constant need for attention, right? You find that your concerns are bigger and more immediate than a mere snack while on your way to see a favourite auntie.

Since you've spent so much time being childish, you're now eager to do a little more adult stuff. All the things you were previously deemed too young to do are now within reach. You can stay out a little later, go off on trips with little or no supervision, drink some alcohol, and find out the extent to which your body is changing, along with the new desires you have. As a teenager, you feel like sex is on the table. Well, no, not like that. I mean that you feel you can now indulge in the hallowed activity of sex. Why? Because as you grew up, sex was shrouded in so much mystery that all it ever did to you was fill you with curiosity. You had to cover your eyes whenever a love scene was on TV. Of course, your parents/guardians wouldn't be caught dead trying to explain such things to you. They'd rather leave it to your teachers and peers at school. You were left to figure out the rest. The most they could do was say, 'Don't have sex. It's bad. Okay?' Then you asked yourself, "If it's so bad, why do the people having it seem to enjoy it?" Turns out, the main thing driving you to sex is curiosity. Until you learn that sex has so many faces.

There's a reason that the adults always said to at least 'wait until you're old enough'. Mainly it was because you needed to see the bigger picture. Sex is exciting, but it has an uncanny way of changing people's lives in ways that nothing else does. For instance, getting pregnant can change many things, especially if you're a teenager. Then it occurs to you that you're not so informed as you had thought. Sure, your pals had told you how epic it was to be sexually active. But most of that is just words. And even if there's some truth in it, luck eventually runs out when there's no method to your actions. If you don't use condoms, or any other contraceptive, there will be pregnancy. "But sex is better without the condom," they say. It is a fact, but there will be time for that at some point. You first need to stay safe and healthy. The teenage body is only beginning to modify itself for sexual activity, so it's rather unpredictable. And vulnerable. And a teenage pregnancy is nothing to smile about. The one constant is the threat to the young mother's life. Still, we make mistakes. Some heavier than others, but no need to ostracize. What I'd want our teenagers to know is that there are mistakes that can be avoided simply by postponing the activity until they know better. They say, "Never make a deal until you've listened to all the options." All it takes is to listen, and you might be saved from the dangers of your mistakes. By the way, condoms and contraceptives are not ways adults contrived to take the pleasure out of sex. Those things are meant to keep you safe from most sexually transmitted problems. And teenage pregnancy is one of them. Don't leave things to chance. Talk to someone older/more mature. A word could change the course of a teenager's life without them ever knowing it.

As the teenager can now see the green fields on the other side of the wall, they can also see the storm-clouds gather in the skies about. Naturally, they'd seek out shelter. It's not all fun and games, but just because the sun doesn't shine doesn't mean they shouldn't make the most of a grim situation. Should they insist on braving the storm, they would at least consider an umbrella or a raincoat. Or they can just wait until the weather's fine and jump about freely, without the restrictions of umbrellas and heavy raincoats. Enough analogy? Alright then, you should not have sex until you at least know about teenage pregnancy, STDs, contraceptives and the legal age of consent (I'll expound these soon).

Safety first, always.

#EndTeenagePregnancy  #Twefugge

Shattering A Teenage Dream

Image courtesy of flickr.com

The world is exciting and scary enough for 16 year old Daisy, a teenager like many others. She’s a bag of emotions and a large appetite, both for food and for life. Filled with youthful vigour, Daisy will tackle every challenge with the same attitude. She dreams of being an accountant someday. And all that happens while she tries to find her place in this world. It’s like crossing the hallowed threshold between two worlds. She is no longer a child, and doesn’t want to be treated as such. She is not yet an adult, but she want to be respected and taken seriously. One thing that remains true is that she is not as misunderstood as she thinks. The older people that she looks up to were once teenagers, like her. She may not know it at the time, but they do understand what she’s going through. And at that time, she needs someone she can relate with, so she mostly relies on her peers. Among her relatives, she confides in her auntie, who’s not as authoritative as her mother and is much easier to talk to.

It is a tricky time for Daisy because adolescents (young people between the ages of 10-19 years) are often thought of as a healthy group. And yet, many adolescents do die prematurely due to suicide, pregnancy related complications and other illnesses that are either preventable or treatable. In addition, many serious diseases in adulthood have their roots in adolescence. For example, tobacco use, sexually transmitted infections including HIV, poor eating and exercise habits, lead to illness or premature death later in life. 

Daisy, through her friendly auntie, gets to know many of these issues and she talks about these things with her friends. Her auntie advises her to delay sex and stay in school for as long as possible. In the event that Daisy becomes sexually active, her auntie strongly recommends that she uses contraceptives, the easiest of which is to use condoms. She might be labeled as uncool by her peers as they indulge in wanton sex, alcohol and drug binges. However, resolve is not easily found in solitude when you’re young. No one wants to be left out. No one wants to be the outcast. The days of ridicule from peers are long and stressful. The mockery and calls of cowardice are too much for Daisy to bear. So, despite her knowledge, she decides to indulge without proper safety measures, in sex and other related activities. When she later discovers that she’s pregnant, she tries to hide the fact from everyone, even her beloved auntie. But the signs are too evident for her auntie to miss. 

Teenage pregnancies are mostly unwanted and occur in girls below 19 years of age. Due to the burning desire of youth and lacking knowledge on sex education and family planning, it is very common. It can cost the girls (and the boys) in terms of school, respect of the community, and financially, seeing as neither parent is financially capable of raising a child, normally. This is exactly the situation Daisy finds herself in. James, the 17 year old adolescent responsible for the pregnancy, suggests that she aborts, because he’s not ready to take care of a baby, let alone face his parents with such news. Mostly, he’s motivated by fear more than a general lack of respect for human life. He really doesn’t know any better. They both worry about dropping out of school and the death of their dreams. He is also afraid that he might be imprisoned for having sex with an underage girl. She is worried that she might get complications and disabilities resulting from difficult deliveries or experience obstructed labour that may damage her bladder. As a teenager, her body is not yet fully developed enough for childbirth, so these complications might happen to her. She’s also wary of the wrath she’ll face from her parents when they find out. Daisy contemplates suicide, running away from home, and even abortion. She’s ashamed of what she has done and the friends who once encouraged her to indulge are now mocking her for her apparent stupidity. To Daisy, the world has become a harsh place and her dreams have been shattered. If only she could find the support she so desperately needs from the people around her, she wouldn’t resort to such drastic measures. 

Weighed down by immense sadness, Daisy goes to her auntie and bares all her pain and anguish to her, as if to tell herself that telling someone at least should ease the burden. Her auntie is surprisingly supportive to Daisy, and comforts her, saying it is not the end. She accompanies Daisy as they break the news to her parents. Much as the parents are furious and say that Daisy has destroyed her own future, they still care about the health of their child. They encourage her to visit the nearest health facility for antenatal care at least 4 times during the pregnancy, while they prepare to take care of her baby.

Daisy realizes that if she had heard about family planning, she would have known better. But even as she gets to know about it after her pregnancy, she can better plan for her future. Family planning involves having (the number of) children when you want them. This avoids unplanned pregnancies and having children you are not ready to take care of. Children are our legacy, the fruit of the womb, and deserve a good chance at life. With appropriate planning, parents can be able to offer the children whatever they need to live a healthy life filled with promise and opportunity. There are different methods of family planning available for both young men/boys and women/girls. These include: condoms (both male and female), pills for women, injectables and implants for women. Daisy learns that she can apply family planning later in her life when she has settled down. For now, she needs to concentrate on making sure that she gives birth to a healthy baby. She makes sure she eats right and even goes for HIV testing. Fortunately, she’s negative so if she does everything her parents and auntie tell her, she will give birth to a healthy baby.

Eventually, Daisy safely gives birth to a baby girl. Her relatives are happy for her and are more than willing to pitch in and help Daisy care for the baby. However, her auntie reminds her that with or without help from the baby’s father, she is responsible for the livelihood of her child. While her auntie helps Daisy try and get support from him, Daisy should find a way to provide for the child. That’s when Daisy learns about income generating activities and entrepreneurship skills training. Learning how to sustain herself despite the odds boost her level of confidence and sense of purpose. Daisy finds work in a salon, where she starts to learn the essentials of running a business, in conjunction with attending entrepreneurship and financial literacy classes. She believes that eventually, she will be able to start her own business and be able to take care of her child properly. Life may have taken her along a much different path than she had imagined, but she’s confident that she’ll make it work somehow. 

Unfortunately, some girls do not get the help, advice, or support that Daisy got. There are several abortions and birth related deaths all over the country. But all these problems start somewhere. Whether it is forced or consensual, teenage pregnancy must be avoided at all costs because there’s also health implications for the young mother. There’s no substitute for either school or health, and thus they must be preserved.

#EndTeenagePregnancy  #Twefugge

Safyre's Thirteen 3 Somethings...

After reading Basix‘s latest joint, I feel somewhat inspired to 'take part' in this kind of thing.

3 things that scare me…
Misplacing my keys
A phone call from a certain cousin
The phrase 'We need to talk.'

3 people who make me laugh…
Babies
Christine (she knows herself)
The guy that serves me Absinthe

3 things I love…
The burger from Sausage King, Kisementi
Batman
Playing guitar

3 things I hate…
Being asked if I'm a comedian
Being called a nice guy
People that don't respect premium whiskey

3 things I don’t understand…
Instagram
Texting while driving
Feminist logic

3 things on my desk…
Notebook
Laptop
A book titled 'WTF, Evolution?! - A Theory Of Unintelligible Design'

3 things I’m doing right now…
Sipping cheap coffee
Typing
Listening to Wizkid

3 things I want to do before I die…
Invent something (preferably useful)
Be a father
See the Northern Lights

3 things I can do well…
Read
Write
Fix stuff

3 things I can’t do…
Sing
Lift a TV with one hand
Hug properly

3 things I should listen to…
Adele's music
Advice
The laugh of an amused baby

3 things I shouldn’t listen to…
Heavy metal
The ramblings of a certain uncle
A jackhammer being operated in my vicinity

3 things I watched as a kid…
Tom and Jerry
Charlie Chaplin
Time Trax

Don't be shy. Try doing your version. For now, I invite Nev, Gerard, Lynn, and Rogers to partake (evil smirk).