Villains

Every morning, when I read the papers, I can't help but think our country has a very formidable brood of villains. People are buying high-end SUVs while Teso starves.
Even if they had planned to buy them all along, they could have at least waited till the famine abates.

Then there's all the scam artists running around. They all have similar catchphrases.. "Want to make easy extra cash?" or "Need a well-paying job?" and so on. Why do people keep falling for the same tricks? People are entitled to their opinions.

I hear a whole town council fell for one clever scam. That was hillarious. Residents and authorities alike fell for it.

I wonder when our hero will arise. Whenever that is, I'm sure it will be at the precipice of this spiral towards anarchy.

Project: Stingray (Part 1)

Looks like I got a new hobby over the weekend. I now officially love swimming! It wasn't my first time, but it sure felt like it. The last time I had tried, I hadn't really succeeded.

Anyhow, this time around, I went with a trainer and 'cheerleader,' so i was being yelled at and shouted at. It was comforting.

I thought it was as obvious as it looks when I watch other people do it. I was almost right. I didn't consider the fact that having 3 instructors could complicate things further.

When you look like you're in a plight of sorts, it's amusing how people come to your rescue, each giving advice that's contrary to the other's. So, I tried each of their theories, but it's the 3rd guy's stuff that seemed to cover more groud (er..water).

Needless to say, in 30 minutes, i was as good at swimming as a dog. I hope to upgrade to a better mammal next time... perhaps an otter.

Attempted failure

For a moment, I thought I was gazing at the sunset. So awesome, so tender. So gentle and soothing. A reminder of all that's good in this life. And then, suddenly, she stood up.

It was then that I realised the futility of my planned 'ambush.' Now, the golden rule in approaching a lady is to do it within 3 seconds. That way, you don't have time to change your mind, or hesitate. She was fifteen seconds out, So you can guess what happened.

Anyway, I tried to be as bold as i could, but her beauty was/is breathtaking. I thought my heart was in my throat and my tongue had retreated to my gut.

I think I gasped, "Hi." She flicked her hair to one side and said, "Did you say something?"

I: I didn't. I just gasped.
She: Why? Is there something wrong?

I: As a matter of fact, there is.
She: Well, what is it?

I: I think it's a little unfair for all the beauty in this building to be concentrated in one body.

She: (Chuckles)
I: Yes, you guessed it. Hers.
She: Whose?! (Sounding somewhat distraught)

I: You didn't think I was talking about you, did you?
She: Of course not. (Liar!)

I: Very well then, it's been real nice praising another woman before you. But, you look very pretty yourself too.

She: Is that consolation?
I: I hope so. You may not find it anywhere else.

She: 'Hysterical laughter' I see you're trying to be funny.
I: I doubt that. Looks like I succeeded!

And then we exchanged contacts (not lenses), just like that. I bet she went home bragging like a peacock. I now know that sarcasm wins, every time!

Gods and Generals- Part 1

I was at a well known local amusement park recently. I was surprised I could enjoy some of those rides at 'this' age. It later occured to me that adrenaline rushes are no respecters of age! I found myself screaming like a child, and had the joy of watching full grown men and women also screaming like little girls..

Funny thing is, the little girls weren't party to the screaming. They were too busy crying their hearts out..

Alright, enough of the lollygagging; Ahem!

One is a gift, the other a rank.

One is a state of being, the other a being of the state..

I would rather be the one, than be the other...

One is original, the other a copy....

One is absolute, the other subjective...

The ability to look into situations and see their outcome, as well as have some control and ability to determine the outcome...now that's something I'd like to do regularly.

To be continued....

Biting the hand that feeds you...

It's been a while, but I just had to talk about this..

What's with all the people eating pastors alive over 'allegations' of unbecoming behaviour? Here are some thoughts..

1. If you're foolish enough to give in to fleshly desires, don't be careless enough not to cover your tracks.

2. Sometimes journalists and the public have a short memory of religious leaders' track records.

3. You are bound to become famous overnight by being tagged as 'gay.' This also works for your accusers. it could as well be a win-win situation.

4. God and the Gospel can defend themselves. Why do you think the Bible is still the world's best seller up to now?

5. It should be declared illegal for church leaders to wash their dirty linen in public. The Bible actually discourages such behaviour.

There should be some level of commitment and loyalty exhibited by the christian folk, and not just throwing useless comments here and there. It's not about who's right or wrong, but the reaction garnered by the masses about such a trivial issue.

Sayonara to all the pretenders, and Hurrah to the loyal..


N.B: The views expressed are not necessarily the views of the writer or readers. They are just thoughts.

About the rich dude..

Stories have been told of the exploits of the 'coloured folk'....I'm not talking about guys who own a Mercedes or a Range Rover. I'm talking about guys who own a FLEET of luxury rides..Guys who have that other kind of money.. Guys who have...'giraffe money'. I mean, how rich can you get? A guy has 3ooo acres of land and 2 giraffes? I can barely keep a dog! It's almost unfair to know that one guy can own one third of Buganda... and leave the no-gooders haggling about the rest of it. These guys think bargaining is only done by hostage negotiators.

That's just the kind of role model I would like to have. Imagine having a gold plated bathroom, and you are labelled 'filthy-rich.' Come to think of it...it actually makes sense!

Some of these guys think the credit crunch is some kind of cereal...

These guys can even afford to wear whatever they like...and have half the world trying to emulate them!

Some people wear gold accessories, but these guys have golden dining tables, golden cutlery, golden phones, golden bank accounts, you name it. Everything they touch turns to gold.
I wonder if all that money can really buy happiness and trust...

AHH...It seems vain, but my time will soon come... As for me, I'll have 'dolphin money.'

Lost in Translation

I've always been wary of people who talk too much.. Frankly, they take too long to put their pooint forward, simple as it may be. To make matters worse, they assume that the first language they used was a bit too hard for you to understand.. so they decide to translate for you. Normally, I would appreciate the effort, only if you are using a language I can't even construct a sentence in.. Kind of like selling you a car, and the tires separately.

Now, this fellow accosts me and tells me, "Kati, now, i need you to tolerate with me peku town, anti this journey is insobokable without your giganormous input." and a couple of other things which evaded my conscience. So, I told him, "You woke up, and somehow miraculously expected to find me and have me accompany you on your errands, and even fund your journey?! You have a lot of nerve!" To which he replied, "Anti the guy I want to spot has my stuff naye he banje's me.."